Pressure is on...

Top of the afternoon to you this chilly first day of August...It's been an easy July, can't wait for this year to end. Hey, you remember how when you were little and couldn't wait to grow up? Yeah, it kinda sucks doesn't it? Maybe not for you, but you gotta admit it's not what you expected is it? Yeah, you can drink, watch t.v till late, eat whatever you want and so on,but the pressure of being a grown up is out there.

I first experienced let's call it peer pressure when i was 15, i think i was in form two in high school. So on school holidays, i attended tuition at KTTC in Gigiri. Well, my school was huko in the bundus and here i was interacting with both boys and girls from various schools in Nairobi. On one break from class, this big boy from some school was having his cigarette break, we were just hanging around and he handed me one asking if i smoked. I do not know why i did not say no, but i took it from him and luckily i was saved by the bell and we had to go back to class. In the evening while we were waiting for the bus, he kept asking me to light it, i held him off saying i'd do it the next day. In the bus he made me smell his fingers(Don't ask) It was a pungent smell, one i couldn't identify and he told me it the smell of weed...Boys!!!

The gist of the story is, after i cleared high school, i had this curious, adventurous streak and one evening i went to the shops, bought me one stick of embassy light cigarette, went to my balcony, lit it and had my first puff ever of a cigarette. I can't really say if i liked it or not but when i joined campus i had this habit of smoking one or two dunhills whenever i was out drinking. I can't say i enjoy it, and i really don't know why i did it. I am happy to report though that it's a habit i managed to stop.

We all get caught up in pressure one way or another, that tattoo i got when i was 21. When my pals were so excited to be getting their first tattoos and we all jumped for the idea. That movie your pal says you have got to watch, you know it's not your kind of film but you still sit there to waste your precious two hours sitting through a bogus movie. That random night out, you're broke AF, but still go and use the little you had left, lose your phone and end up not even remembering anything from that night. That guy you shouldn't have dated but went for it anyway because everyone thought he was cute and you two looked good together.

That guy you should have given a chance to, but your girls didn't like him and thought he was a broke douche and you deserved better. That one last shot of vodka you know you can't keep down but with everyone shouting shot!shot!shot! you down it anyway, that baby your boyfriend wants so bad and promises to give you the world, be there for you, and support you and your baby...*sigh*, that friend who just got hitched and won't shut up about what a bliss marriage life is...Well the drinking...that i got myself into :P

The part i hate most though about growing up is dealing with the pain of losing loved ones, people you interacted with on a daily basis are no longer in your life, it hurts and no one prepares us for this kind of loss. It just hits and you realize that that is life and as much as it is unfair, it does go on.  People get married, get babies, others die...c'est la vie!

For those who are married, i wish you blessed unions. Those with babies, good luck with that...and for those who've left us, may your souls rest in peace.

 Keep warm...xoxo!

Of Soul mate Shenanigans...

I am a hopeless romantic, you wouldn't tell just by looking at me though. In fact if just went by the outside look, you'd think i had an ice box in the place where my heart is supposed to be. I am pretty much guarded, that's why but if you get to break down the walls around my heart, you get a really fragile person who truly honestly believes in love and loves to be in love.I am not afraid of love or of falling in love either,that being said,i have been on that horse severally, i fell down most times but got up, dusted myself off and picked what seemed to be a better horse than the previous one. Well, the horse was either too moody, too hungry or thirsty and it dropped me on my ass every chance it got, or i left it by the roadside and decided to walk instead.

A friend the other day asked me if i was dating my soul mate...my immediate response was that did not believe in soul mates. He went on to tell me about a really old couple he knew that had dated since high school and were still together going strong now in their eighties. My response was that that was simply love and a couple who were truly wholeheartedly willing to work at their relationship. He went on to tell me stuff about light being to day and dark being to night, and that subsequently there should be a Y to my X out there somewhere. I guess he is more of a hopeless romantic than i am.

Well, my point in short is, I doubt there is that one person who completes the puzzle reason being i have met people i thought THIS IS IT but alas...Or maybe there is, who knows but i am pretty sure most of us will die having not met our 'significant' other. The trick is finding someone who fits most of what you look for in a mate,they cannot of course be perfect, no one is. Someone's who's imperfections you can live with, it's not as easy as that though, i know people who've met such, dated for long periods of time but it still goes wrong.There is not one manual you can follow as everyone is different, know when to let go as well. Do not let yourself be a doormat. When respect and trust go out the door, make sure you are fast on their heels out too but don't let the door hit you on your way out.

You're allowed to fight for it, but be smart...don't fight blindly, you might just lose your self esteem as your relationship goes down the drain and we don't want that. If it feels too one-sided,when you're doing all the work and it's draining you...it's time to call it quits. You don't have to fight for space in someone's life, if they want you there, they'll put you there!!! It's that simple. It's not the end of the world, i am pretty sure someone is willing to treat you better, your soul mate maybe, who knows?!

Peace...xoxo!

Of my R&R...

Well, hallo and welcome to July! Been a while, i am doing fab just from a relaxing stay in Uganda, had a really good time. When i traveled though it wasn't really meant to be a safari but alas. So i traveled on a Wednesday evening, got to Kampala, Uganda's capital on Thursday morning. I wanted to visit Entebbe first but plans changed and found myself on a three hour journey to Masindi. I got there and there was no cell reception for safaricom calls and it was on roaming which is quite expensive so i figured changing my line to the country's preffered line would be cheaper. First thing i did was check in to an MTN shop, registered for a line loaded airtime and called my host. Wasn't a really long wait before i was picked up, i was hungry so we checked into a Masindi hotel for lunch cum dinner.

Chilled for a while around the town, then headed to Budongo eco lodge in some forest in the heart Queen Elizabeth National park. The place was breathtaking, along the way i spotted lots of baboons and when we got there i was received by really courteous staff, the cabins were exceptionally clean, the place quiet and tranquil...i loved it. There was no cell receptio at all , just lots of trees and butterflies and chimps, lizards and i really don't know how i survived but the environment grew on me. Wasn't hungry so headed to the cabin, had a hot shower and just chilled. 

Friday, i sat by my verandah and listened to the chimps jump from one tree to the next while i read my novel. In the evening we decided to go checkout Masindi night life which is a 45min drive from the lodge.We decided on back to life which is just a local but the music was good. AK47 another club was already closed when we got there, so we bought roadside chicken, ate and headed back. I slept through most of my Saturday, had dinner sat around catching up and called it a night. Sunday, we decided to go for a drive down to Murchison falls, which are a magnificent sight by the way, made me regret why i forgot to carry a camera....who does that?

I decided to try my skills on a 4*4 manual driven car and nearly rolled it over. We took a boat over river Nile to Paraa lodge, breathtakingly beautiful place, we sat by the pool and had a few drinks. We moved over to Red Chilli another really nice camping place had a few then drove back to our lodge. I was exhausted and it was late so i just slept and Mon jus went by so did the rest of the days, i'd wake up, chill, take in the scenery and just have a relaxing time. On Friday though, decided to travel to Kampala, got there pretty late, but since i was in the city got into some bar and decided to drink.

It turned into a fun-fillled night cause we went to Venom a really nice club in the city, then to posh and then called it a night in the wee hours of the morning. Woke up still high and cause i really wanted to visit Entebbe just 34km from Kampala, hopped into a taxi and left. Got there, met my pal and before i could sit or take a breath from the hour long journey we were at a beach having drinks. I loved the beach, man-made or not...it was awesome. We took a trip around Entebbe as my pal showed me around the beaches, we settled for Speenah beach, after a few drinks we moved to the heart of the city to a club called Amazon.

Amazon turned out to be a strip club :-O ha! Don't ask, i had a great time all the same, made a few friends then went home. Next morning, went to Sesse beach, had lunch and i had to travel back to Kampla because my bus was leaving that evening.  I have been to Uganda three or four times before but this hands down was the most memorable. I have to go back really soon, for now...back to reality. Keep warm...xoxo!

Could I speak?

I wouldn't call myself a feminist, not really...but i do know my rights and of speech is one i don't like messed with. I am not the talkative kind either but when something needs to be addressed, rest assured i will address it. I am all for women and their right to speech, we are in the 21st century and i believe any woman as much as any man deserves a say.

That said, I don't believe women should not have a say when a man is speaking, not speaking like catching up, I mean when there's a misunderstanding and the man is doing all the talking. I get defensive most times in arguments, not in a guilt trip kind of way but in an emotional way. I get so engrossed in putting my point across, i usually even forget the environment and who it is i am arguing with.

Take for example my old man, I wouldn't call him a male chauvinist, but he is hella old fashioned. What he says goes, no arguments no nothing. While growing up of course you'd be a little scared and all you were taught is to obey your parents which i still do. Nowadays any time we get into a heated discussion, he thinks I am being disrespectful and my mum could even ask me to stop talking back. The more i try to explain, the worse it gets, cause sometimes i just don't know when to bite my tongue and call it quits.

If you ask me though, i don't think i am talking back. And i don't get why i can't just put my point across.
I always loved debates in High School, and the back and forth always excites me. Start an argument, i'll finish it for you. I am not good with fists maybe that's why my tongue is endowed. I don't start drama but i sure as hell can finish it. I don't take shit(pardon my french) from anyone, not especially men. Call me sexist if you want...

If you say the wrong thing, i will definitely call you out on it and it might get ugly especially if you get loud. If you haven't seen that side of mine yet, you're probably a darling and haven't said the wrong thing to me just yet. If I walk away, you're just not worth it.

Later..xoxo!

The Quiet Life...

In my post on simple etiquette, I mentioned how much I relish in my space...yeah? I don't think you realise just how much, introverted much! I have come to the realisation that i am a bit of an introvert, no...I am an INTROVERT! Don't run, lol...it's not contagious and certainly not a disease. I just enjoy the quiet life, moments of silence and I definitely enjoy time to myself by myself (definition by Isabelle's Dictionary).Before I get into it though here are a few myths about introverts:

•  Introverts are shy 
  
• Introverts are self-absorbed and don't care about others
• Introverts hate being around people
• Introverts are nervous in social situations
• Introverts are insecure
• Introverts are socially awkward

2013 for me began at a low note, it picked up though but with every passing weekend i found myself at home either reading a book, magazine, on Facebook/Twitter, blogging, filling in crossword puzzles and sudoku or watching a feel good movie and this has been my life these past four months.I don't differentiate weekdays from weekends and I can actually count how many times I've been out partying. This a few years back would have not been the case, my weekends began on Thursday and ended Monday!

I was at the mall the other day with my cousin and after purchasing a few items, we went to check out and there stood this tall glass of water. We kinda locked eyes and i immediately dragged my cousin from that till to the next one and she was fuming cause that was the shortest queue we'd left. She asks why, i explain and she drags me back behind the eye candy. I had to stand there awkwardly avoiding eye contact which he tried to get but unfortunately i could not get myself to look at him. A while back i would have marched up there with all the confidence i could master, smiling and even stutter a hello...What is not happening to me?

Maybe I've always been an introvert, it's just now that I am accepting it and getting comfortable. I saw a pal of mine last week i hadn't seen for a while, he said I had grown and swore that he meant it as a compliment...yeah right? I still don't believe him. He explained that from the way i talk, to the way i carry myself to how i text showed maturity. As compared to the me he knew, it was a big change. He added though that i looked sad and this struck a cord.....I used to be a bubbly, confident, easy-going girl who loved to have herself a good time. But, to be honest i actually enjoy the quiet life now, i may miss young, wild and free me sometimes, but when all is said and done...think i've been there, done that.

Here are a few ways of how to deal with introverts:

1. Do not ever rebuke us in public or you and I are done.... forever, and I mean it.

2. Sometimes we just get totally flustered and want to give up, but that's not the time for lectures, theology or your super-awesome advice. You don't have to say anything, just be there.

3. We use less words and we don't always use them well, but if we chose to spend time with you, that means we care.

4. Sometimes we are just moody, it's not depression or anything like that. One word...space, give it to us, and lots of it.

5. Don't be offended if we don't reply right away, we see that facebook invite to an event but we'll let it sit there and think about it before we respond. We do the same with text messages, emails, phonecalls and you showing up at the door.

6. Don't be offended if I'm being extra talkative or friendly with someone else, we interact with people in different ways.

7. We get super tired around a lot of people. My limit is about six hours and then I actually tune out and get bored hanging around human beings. My sabbath rest is leave me alone time.

8. We can do anything extroverts can do, even give speeches with time and patience. We are much more methodical and like to think and process things. Our silence doesn't mean we are not listening, we'll talk when we dang feel like it.

9. We actually like to listen unlike extroverts who like to monopolize conversations.

10. It's great how extroverts express themselves during worship. But we sometimes just read the lyrics, connect inwardly and keep our hands to ourselves. If you see me raise even one hand and sing a few words, I am seriously pushing the gas pedal all the way to the floor.

11. If i don't answer the first time you call, I won't answer the second time you call 30seconds later. If you call a third time, i'll answer but it had damn well better be an emergency.

12. "Since you are not doing anything".... Correction, sitting quietly and staring into space is doing something to me. It does not mean I am waiting for a nice chat.

13. "May I join you?" Um...no! (But sometimes yes) Good luck making sense of that.

14. "I invited a few people to join us, hope that's ok"...It's not really, but there's nothing i can do about it now.

15.  Most introverts are quite happy in their introverted world, don't try to change them. Remember, they don’t get energized by being the life of the party like you do.

That will be all lovelies...Keep warm! xx

Of Relationships...

I don't know much about relationships, seeing as most of mine have crashed and burnt, but then again no one does really. Even the self or accolade professed gurus...most of the time their advice is based on probability and not real life par se. There are things you come about in your daily day to day relationship life that no one forewarned you about!

Well, ask anyone what the most important factor in a good relationship is, and most of the answers will be sex. According to Ciku Kimani of the Daily Nation, trust, communication, openness, love and sex are the factors.You wouldn't be able to love someone you don't trust, and communication is only easier between friends plus sex is only enjoyable if couples are open with each other.

So if you have all these is your relationship safe? I don't think so. That brings me to the whole point of jotting this blog post on a chilly Friday evening. Comes the part where no one tells you about, that a relationship is like a car. It needs regular servicing, oil checks & oiling, alignment, and all that garage gibberish. Well, it's not just take take take, it's a take-give kinda agreement. A relationship is work in progress and couples only realise this after the honeymoon phase is over and shit just got real.

Just when you think you have bagged the love of your life, their little annoying habits come out to play. The snoring, the mood swings, skeletons in the closet, same boxers on day three of lounging, the drinking and an assortment of other stuff. Anyway, my point is, people are different and the movies and motivational books cannot teach you how to deal with each and every person.

Sometimes you just have to go out there blindfolded, grope in the dark, and fall a few times before you can stumble and stand again. Every situation for every individual is different, you could ask for advice from your close friend or find someone to talk to but keep in mind we don't all go through the same situations. You at the end of the day have to decide your fate.

Life is not a bed of roses anymore now is it aye? Hey, but then again...what do I know?!

Oh, swithched off both my lines for a week, taking time out from everything and everyone including social network indefinitely...If it is that important, E-mail me @isabel.mboche@yahoo.com.

Later lovelies, and keep warm...xoxo!

Double Standards...

Double standard by wikipedia definition is the application of different sets of principles for similar situations, or two different people in the same situation. Blog post sparked by the uproar by religious leaders to ban the 'weka condom mpangoni' advert!

After a short stint of controversy, the advert which has been sponsored by USAID and highly popularized by Classic 105's Maina Kageni was pulled down and banned. I however feel that the condemnation of the advert was uncalled for as i think all of society is trying to run away from reality. Plus it's a tad bit bias seeing as no one complained when Jimmy Gathu's advert 'wacha mpango wa kando' advert was overplayed on every local station.

 In the fight against HIV/AIDS, the advertisement of contraceptives has evolved since its inception, with latest condom ad fueling uproar from the clergy. The culprit this time is none other than the ‘Weka Condom Mpangoni’. The men of the cloth say the advert advocates for sex outside marriage, and portrays Kenyans as an unfaithful lot. The National AIDS and STI Control Programme (NASCOP) however says that what the advert portrays is real and not an exaggeration.-NTV

I think women should be given enough info, if anything at all the advert was in the least advocating for the use of condoms.Let's face facts here, no matter how many times Gathu says 'wacha mpango wa kando' for some it doesn't work that way. What choice are we left with then? Weka condom mpangoni! Don't get me wrong, I am not at all advocating for infidelity but when it comes down to it, most of our society is adulterous...yes I said it!

My next ball of contention is the man who drinks like a fish all day everyday and swear to never ever go out with a girl who drinks; What horseshit!!! I am appalled, and ask why he wouldn't date a girl who loves her drink, the pea brained idiot says because then the lady ceases to look like a responsible woman who would bear kids! 'And you dimwit? Who do you look like?' Please, save him now....I speak for the ladies who love their drink, we can drink responsibly and stop for nine months to carry your babies...cut us some slack!

Then the men can do casual dating, and no one will even say a word...In fact he will get high fives from his buddies. But when a lady says that she is casually dating, she is immediately labelled as a slut.

Men are meant to do the chase, they are predators and the female are prey. Dare you try to change the status quo and you are labelled as loose.

It's cool for men to smoke, but disgustingly ugly when a woman does it....I only quit for health reasons, but if lung cancer did not exist I'd still smoke to prove a point!

Have a Blessed Easter weekend beautiful people...xoxo!

Simple Etiquette...

If you answer your cell phone in the movies, text away callously on a date, sign an e-mail to the Chief Executive of your company as an abbreviation signed by lots of  Xs, and think nothing of striking up conversation with someone in the nude at the gym, you definitely need a guide to the modern-day etiquette.

I turned the big 25 on Thursday, did nothing really proving that age is catching up with me. But i wasn't really bored either, just didn't go all out like i would have a few years back. I went shopping during the day, enjoyed a few drinks in the afternoon and went back to prepare a scrumptious meal for my family in the evening, i even baked a cake and that was it. Now that you are up to date, back to etiquette...

If you have to pick your phone in a public place, keep it short. Don't spill your dirty laundry to everyone the entire bus journey, save the personal details for later and never discuss business in a public place, you never know who is in hearing distance. Most mobile phone companies provide guidelines to remind users to switch off their mobile phones at the cinema, theatre, restaurant, during a business meeting, in a hospital, at a wedding or funeral but how many of us actually do so?

Text messaging is cheap, fun and easy but more importantly it's particularly handy in place of a call you would rather not take. However there is a price to pay for novelty; it's easy to lose sight of the person at the other end of the phone and get carried away with abbreviated words and coded messages. We're in danger of losing quality communication by overusing text messaging. It's a modern means of communication to arrange and cancel appointments but you shouldn't ever shock in a text message. Announcing that you wish to get divorced or a relationship is over in a text message is completely uncivilised.

Try and keep the grammar correct while texting too and the same applies to your punctuation in a professional email as you would if you were hand-writng a formal letter.It doesn't take any extra effort but shows respect and care.To add kisses in an email to someone you don't know is presuming closeness and in our respectful culture, this won't go down well.

Staying calm and not letting other drivers get you hot under the collar is very important. Don't toot your horn if you feel that traffic isn't moving, please use your signal when driving, check for ongoing traffic before you pull out, let people in front of you if they are trying to overtake and dim your lights at night when approaching an on-coming car.

Despite the belief that swimming is meant to be relaxing and an enjoyable leisure activity, if you visit the pool often you will probably find yourself up against some serious etiquette challenges. People kicking water like it's a fight resulting in a mouthful of chlorine for you and a kick in the ribcage. However one of the worst aspects of visiting the pool is the changing room and the same goes for the gym too. People taking their clothes off right in front of you, and then there is a queue for the shower and the lad standing in front of you is in his birthday suit.

I am sort of a neat freak and suffering slightly from mild OCD....lol, i prefer my stuff arranged neatly in order. I am not good with guests and subsequently not a good host, i relish in my space. That being said, my laptop is private, that's why it has a Password. Don't ask me for  my password please, what is you want there? Don't borrow my clothes, i love my wardrobe including the clothes i haven't worn in over a year, don't use that as an excuse. Carry your own necessities i.e cologne, roll-on, towel, bathing suit, nail polish and remover and that kind of stuff. Stay in your space and know your place, don't wake me up with your midnight phone calls, break of dawn alarm ring tones and most of all don't strike up a convo at the climax of a really good movie.

Fab night lovelies...xoxo!

Yet another day...

Another day of boozing and blogging...today I'm doing sambuca, it's the only stock i have left. I know i am supposed do shots of it, it's half bottle and i don't want to fry my liver all at once plus i'd love to finish this post. Uh, i made fresh mango juice earlier, tried to use it as a chaser but tastes more of syrup to me...well, one sip at a time.

I was out shopping yesterday and the day before you'd think i didn't have any clothes left in my closet the way i was up early on both days to shop. Well, a girl can never have enough clothes, shoes or bags. I got really nice stuff, i like. It wasn't easy though, first day was at Gikomba but didn't really find anything i fancied, the next day i headed to Toy and if i had enough money i'd buy all of it. They have really really cool stuff especially for the ladies. Finally went to Ngara but the place was too small and not much caught my eye but we all have different tastes.

So the other day, lights went out at night and my mum regaled me with tales of when i was a kid. She says she was fetching water on the i was born, she almost did not make it to the hospital...I was born on a Monday at 3pm. I used to cry constantly cry the first few months, maybe because i was born on that dreadful day...HA! The trick would be to place my little head on the shoulder and rock me till i slept, my dad did most of that. I used to hate food and would be forced to eat, i was a skinny kid....you should see me now. Oh, how things change...I love food now :]

I would like to think of myself as a really open-minded individual...I love diversity and entertain cross-culture. That being said, men will be men; From Ethiopia, Sudan, Nigeria, Eritrea, Tanzania, Uganda or Kenya. Most of the men i have dated are Kenyan of course but there the few others even just friends who come from the fore-mentioned countries. I want to talk about the slight differences here and there in the way the men from these countries relate with the ladies, first impression and stuff like that. I know most of it will be on the border line of stereotyping but oh well, c'est la vie!

Ethiopian- Very romantic people, treats the ladies right and is a gentleman. Only problem is that it's really hard to express onself.

Sudan- Very generous, nice, kind, loving and understanding. A bit barbaric in their mannerisms but very serious and committed.

Nigerian- Over-confident, loud and obnoxious. Show-offs but can make relly good loyal friends all the same.

Eritrean- Not much difference from the Ethiopian, just more exposed and so it's easy to express themselves.

Tanzania- Well mannered, can be a bit of a show off at times but also down to earth and thoughtful. Polite and trustworthy.

Ugandan- Shy, reserved and i don't honestly really have much to say.

Kenyan- East or West, home is best....you may complain that they are not romantic enough or this or that but I know they are the best we have out there at least from my point of view....

Well, even if he is from Mars, they are all MEN...You'll just have to find one you love imperfectly. Xoxo!

Solitary Drinking...

I thought i was going through writer's block but turned out i was just thirsty! Well, i fell off the bandwagon and decided to drink the whiskey i had cooped up in my room somewhere and guess what, I am writing again...ha! Well, I have come to the realization that i don't mind solitary drinking, by myself in my room especially.

Somewhere along the line people got the idea that solitary boozing is a sure sign that the drinker is about to slip over the edge into something dark and sinister, whether it be suicide, skid row or depression. I am not depressed, not about to commit suicide either....I love myself too much, I just enjoy my own company. On the surface though, it makes sense. Alcohol is the original social lubricant, after all, it makes any gathering loose and friendly, it has the unique ability to spin laughter and camaraderie from the dry straw that is the strained silence of the sober. Strangers become friends, friends become cliques and cliques become vast drinking scenes. It is the golden bond that connects you with most of your friends and acquaintances. It sure as hell isn’t a collective interest in stamp collecting that holds the gang together, alcohol is!

Drinking alone, on the other hand, is a much more pure and forthright form of imbibing, and I say that because it focuses entirely on the simple act of putting alcohol into your bloodstream. It tosses aside all the half-hearted pretensions about merely using alcohol as a social tool.Now, there are those who abhor the very idea of spending a moment with themselves. Put them in a quiet room for five minutes and they’re picking up the phone or turning on the TV. Whiskey is the key that sets the monkey free, goes the old saw, and that monkey is your Id, your subconscious mind, the inner you. Instead of letting that monkey out in public, where he tends to go berserk (or so they tell you the next morning), set him loose in a calm room. A quiet place bare of predators and prey. Get to know him. You might be surprised. You might even start liking the little bastard.

So find your quiet space. Lower the lighting and unplug the phone. And for the love of God, turn off the TV. That evil box is the antithesis of inner thought, it is a jabbering knave that never shuts up or listens, it is expressly designed to steal your attention and direct it to its own petty needs. Turn it off or, better yet, throw it out the window. Your room, in my opinion, is the best place to drink alone. There is something about having the glass and bottle sitting right in front of you, While you may prefer metal, rap, punk or, egad, techno when you’re out swinging with the gang, the point of drinking alone is not to get pumped up but to hunker down with the inner workings of your psyche. Slow and melodic, even nostalgic music is best.

After three or four drinks you’ll start realizing there are clear advantages to drinking alone, namely:

1. You’re the bartender. Drinking alone means you can drink exactly what you want. Let’s admit it, what we drink in public is not necessarily what we really want to drink. There are social norms to conform to, there are reputations to maintain, there are friends to impress. Your mouth will order a shot of tequila when your soul wants a Vodka shot.

 2. You control the pace: Want another? Pour it. No standing in line for a drink, no pressure to take yet another sham shot of girlie juice, no bouncer telling you you’ve had enough. The bottle in front of you never says no. Only yes, yes and yes!

3. Booze tastes better. There are no distractions to divert your attention from the rich taste of a mouthful of Grants. You will notice the vast array of flavors and aromas. You will realize hidden depths of taste in a cocktail you had imagined a shallow pond. Show me someone who is drinking alone, without any desire to seek out human companionship, and I’ll show you a drunk who truly enjoys alcohol.

4. The bottle doesn’t jabber. One of the greatest pleasures in life is a comfortable silence between friends. You know what I’m talking about: you’re having a quiet drink at a table with an old friend, and both of you feel absolutely no need to engage in idle prattle, there is a fine understanding that nothing needs to be said, you merely sit and bask in the light of each other’s company. Those moments, unfortunately, are few and far between. These days we’re so damn afraid the other person will think we’re boring and start looking for someone a little more chatty to sit with, or, worst of all, yawn. And it’s from the belly of that fear the current plague of pointless small talk was born.

5. You can act any damn fool way you wish: The bottle will not condemn you for laughing out of turn or pounding the table like a bad character actor. It will quietly salute you. You can get as maudlin, dramatic and sentimental as you wish, without anyone telling you to snap out of it, cheer up, or cool out.

And it is cheaper by the dozen too, you don't have to feel obliged to throw a round for your comrades, just you and the bottle. 

You don't have to worry about how to get home or that don't drink and drive mantra.

Expect this tomorrow....from your friends:

“What’d you get up to last night?”
“Got wicked drunk.”
“Yeah? Where’d you go?”
“I didn’t go anywhere. I drank at home.”
“You had a party and didn’t invite me? Who showed up?”
“No one. I got drunk by myself.”
“No shit? What’s wrong, man? You wanna talk about it?”

 Tell them you don't want to talk about it and that you just enjoyed your own company and loved it. On my third glass, enjoy lovlies....see ya'll later.  

Xoxo!

Guest Writer...

"Thoughts from my balcony."
*sparks a blunt* ..thought of a no. of ways to start this blog but ended up drawing a blank so will go head n just jump right into it..first month of 2013 is a wrap n nothing has really changed..same shxt different assholes *excuse ma french* I always thought by 2013 Massai Mara wld be a popular formula one race track..i honestly thought so bt that's a sad story for another day.Things aint' always wut they cracked up to be n with how errything took to the new year its sure shxt ain finna be all bunnies n rainbows this year.

*Politics is all up in the air.. tht explains why am tappin ma nose as I punch the keys on the keyboard..meant tht metaphorically yu stoopid. I done had enough of it with ma soul already n more so kenyan politics is like a start of a bad joke wth a shaggy dog ending so ain finna write shxt 'bout it right after I point this out..there is a huge difference between who I think is goin to win n who I be voting for come the elections. The inaugural weekend for Obama..beyonce's lip-syn took the shine! who wus Mitt Romney again?! talk of a bad kiss  from the crabs.

*so Lance Armstrong finally confessed to all the doping allegation he wus accused of n wut a way to fess up he had an interview wth Oprah.. Oh! n yeah the t.v ratings for tht shxt wuzn't as impressive as they made. yu believe n self pity ain't attractive in any colour n nobdy had time for tht shxt like the tv executives
believed. I always had a hunch Armstrong wuz a fraud all long.

*Kim Kardashian got knockd up by Kanye West.. didn't see tht coming infact am yet to be convinced she's paged! word is her sister khole is preggos too n they alrdy got offered sum reality show deal by E! tagged pregnant sisters! Done stumbled upon her baby bump pixs on mediaTakeOut.. bt she looks bloated to mi! Rick Ross seems to have pissed of the wrong fucks as someone is obviously baying for his blood after he go shot at by sum goons wth automatics rifles *Gun(s) looms up its ugly head again* if memory serves he once bragged to having a chopper in the car!..bt looks like somebody lied..even him didn't think he wld talk reckless in his songs n walk aways scott free..society on't work like tht no more.. same with a muslim braggin
'bout a jesus piece.

*Game's Jesus Piece albm wus fresh bt not remotely close to a classic.. Kendrick Lamar shxt wuz good doe. 2Chainz is wut's wrong wth hiphop..he's making babies on the side too..Chief Keef..Trinidad James..its obvious hiphop aint outta the dungeon yet! Clearly..Chris Brown on't know wut probation means..who in their right mind punches a harmless gay guy. Frank Oceans' Orange album deserves a grammy..credit wey it's due. Fiona Apple springs to mind.

*Karrine 'Superhead' Steffanes gat a new book out..now tht gets mi soo much wood I'd make a coffee table! Oh newsflash she got filled up (read paged) by tht midget Weezy. Last I knew Kat Stacks wuz deported now she's back to make stacks with her twat again n she came bck with a book in tow too! sounds like a dick move to mi.

*Gun Control is a trending topic in U.S of A right now after the recent school marssare blew the lid on this intricate issue n the debate 'bout fire arms in the hands of the civilians will be on for some time. Alex Jones went HAM on Piers Morgan on the subject of gun control on his show n brutal truth it felt good watchin Piers being put to his place. The shock waves of this issue have rippled all the way to the seemingly care-free circles of hiphop..Acehood shared his sentiments on his track 'fuck the world' off his smash mixtape Starvation 2 ..'wot train of thought is tellin you to shoot up a movie theatre..wut kinda fool walks into a school n offs them Angels!'

* Syria is by now all blown up *excuse my poor diction* n the Mail militia seems to think folks down in Damascas are blowin up fireworks as the west African country is inclined to get tangled in a civil war at the moment n french soildiers n others were deployed down there to calm shxt down! If poverty is chocolate n war is vanilla wuts the flavour of peace? they say war is good for the bidness n if we is to keep it one hun'ned.. then someone is sure pulling strings n the battle scars ain't fading away in the near future.

*Gettin knocked up looks like a new hobby with the teens n baby mommas are on the rise n its becoming a fuckin epidemic.. it's time we tuck our homeless dxcks coz evidently they don't fare well in the open.. Wut happend to playin peek-a-boo n video games. Jumpoffs vs Girlfriends.. Jumpoffs are fun.
   
* I'm glad to have lived to see the era where dudes be calling women bad bxtches n shxt ain't frawned upon. Mature twats dressing like teenbloopers n think they hot like that with tiddays all out in the open like that n same shxt is wuts wrong wth the youth of today..they live nothing to the imaginations. Some Parents have the
audicity to dress they kids like sad clowns while they be dressed like runway models ..people need sum church now tht they morals are moppin the dang! floors. *No Bueno*
     
 *Wut's with people in this city n ratchet tattoos I done spotted a lot of them. Many if not all of this tattoo artists around the city are scums..havin bn good in arts n craft 23yrs ago dean't mean yu can hack a  free pass to the tattoo art bidness n that doesn't make yu Kat von D either! Get school'd before yu get some permanet fuckery inked on yu..whu want their barbe-wire tattoo lookin like a picket fence a decade down the line. Wuts this life to some of you.. If you'se bored outta yo rabbit-ass minds next time try drowning a
duck or sticking yo dicks in a blender..even better.
     
*Keep dicking around n meet yo maker sooner than later.  Eat good. bust a nut n roll a blunt life's good listen to some Nassir jones while yu at it. Someone burn a blunt n lets get faded while we havin stimulating convos 'bout life's imperfections n be ignorant of the many fucks tht go ungiven. Iet it all marinate. i'm out of shxt to write n this the part i skate out..shouts to the crazy beautiful Issabelle Coco for letting mi ghostwrite shxt. It's february the month of love as some french fried assholes call it.. try not to be stoopid with cupid doe.

Tweeps follow mi on twitter @Silverstasly

Mumbo jumbo...

I woke unusually happy today...and no I didn't get laid yesterday, I didn't wake up to a cute good morning text and it wasn't a sweet dream either. Frankly, i do not know why but it feels good. Anyhow, to bring you up to speed with my life....I cut my hair and dyed it, not red the colour i wanted but close to it. It's called strawberry by my salonist...a mix of red and purple and I love it. I am losing weight and i do not know why, no i haven't been to the gym ever, and no I am not working out but i have a really weird eating pattern and habit, must be it. I have lost ten kilos so far....whoop!

I am alive and well, the new year is looking good, apart from chasing my supervisor up and down everywhere so i can finally finish my project and graduate...#sigh# I have lost love, again goes to my list of the "one's that got away" I am sad, but life must go on aye? Yeah, don't ask where I am going with all of this, another day another morning and really had nothing prepared prior...my apologies. I think i need a holiday, in some sandy island far away like Anguilla from everything and everyone i know.

I am trying to cut down on my drinking, not really a resolution don't want to give that title because then it will be hard to fulfill, let's just say it's a goal i am trying to reach. I am doing pretty well so far, but my cousin and sister are tempting me because they left a bottle of whiskey and sambuca in my room over the weekend after my sister's birthday. The good thing is that I haven't touched them and I am not going to, not because they are not open yet, they are but i am teaching myself self restraint also i.e I can wait till Saturday....hopefully.

Weirdly, I  did not make any resolutions this year. I did not remember to and honestly i did not have any to make. Because let's face it, we rarely fulfill them and by the second week or so you have totally forgotten that you had made any to begin with. I am not perfect but sometimes habit is hard to break, I'm just saying. Speaking of habit, i hope to break the habit of smoking a cigarette or two while drinking, and so far so good.
No binge drinking, no urge to smoke.

Finally, i have someone who asked to write anonymously as a guest writer here. I'll put up his post tomorrow, at least there will something here for you to read...enjoy the sunny Tuesday afternoon, I'm out! Xoxo.

Coming out of the closet!

I am turning out to be one hell of slacker nowadays...the number of times i've swithed on my machine and then spent too much time on fb and twitter and forgotten to post something?! Like now i can't wait to go back to watching real housewives of ATL...ha!

And worse still i think i'm going through some sort of block, i can't think, well i'mma just wing it today cause honestly i don't have anything prepared! I have a foot fetish, not specifically foot but more like nail fetish both hands and feet but i focus more on the feet especially men's. Thus the pic up top incase you were wondering...

Any man with really cute toes can gerrrriiiiitttt of course! Neat nails is a plus for both hands and feet, weirdly, that's the first thing that catches my eyes at first meeting. For the ladies, cute toes with awesome colour of nail polish will have me turning just to get a look...no homo! You can step out of the ordinary and mix colours, do animal prints or something...xoxo!

It's end month finally, let's give a round of applause to January, took it's time strutting across the catwalk....can't wait for Feb, the month of love. *Bleurgh*
Fab afternoon people :-*

The First Time...

Now that I have your attention, and just so we are clear...ha ha ha, it's not that first time, but please keep reading. Oh, and where are my manners this morning....Good morning, Zao shang hao, Bonjour, Guten Morgen, Buenos dias....and above all HAPPY NEW YEAR! 24 days in late i know, but better late than never!

My year started at it's lowest but it's slowly taking form, I know the last time i was here was a decade ago, my apologies.Too much has been going on but that's a story for another day! I woke up today and when i opened my eyes i felt a flush of excitement and smiled sheepishly to myself. I am not usually a morning person but i took a notepad and pen and wrote down what i felt and why i felt it. Well, i know I've probably given a version of this story again but this is yet another one...

The year was 2002, I was a young bursting 14 year old who had just got her period, and had just sat her KCPE, the month was December and all scouts from all around were going on a trip to various places, I chose the one to Tanzania and Zanzibar, only because it was the cheapest...well, there were trips to far and beyond and sadly i really don't remember where. I packed my bags the night before and woke up early to make it to the meeting place that was Kahawa barracks.

I was the first one there, one of my teachers and a few other scouts joined me and we sat at a cafe for breakfast. We sat there for a while waiting for everyone to arrive, the last group was a bunch of really rowdy, loud group of boys, they looked older and were clad in full scout attire. I was to learn later that they were indeed older, we were all a mix of primary and secondary school scouts. One of them really stood out, I don't know why but i stared, maybe he was cute, or was the loudest, i don't know....Ha! I was to learn later that it was love at first sight, and who said it didn't exist?!

The bus picked us up and the safari to Namanga border officially began. I sat next to my bestie Chris, It was a noisy ride filled with excitement. Fast forward to when it was dark outside and my seatmate left to sit with his pals for a while and the guy i was staring at came and sat next to me. He introduced himself as Randy(no pun intended) that was his name...lol. He had just sat his KCSE, and was going on this trip with his boys to celebrate the end of secondary school. We sat together all the way, i think my bestie noticed and kept off. By the time we were getting to Tanzania, past the border and all, I felt like i had known Randy all my life.

And the next couple of days were spent with him everywhere, we talked, laughed, shared jokes and our love for music...I was in heaven, no inhibitions, no walls around my heart, i just let loose and fell puppy love style. We held hands everywhere, to the beach, shopping, we took random walks and just enjoyed each other's company. He bought me a necklace i still keep to this day with a love heart shaped pendant, we wrote each other poems, lyrics from love songs(LMAO) *Shoot me now*.The trip to Zanzibar, we sat together in the ship all night just talking....I could tell you things about Zanzibar but i don't remember much.

He was interested in the arts and loved to perform, acting and stuff. On the last day of our trip, he organized a skit which we all enjoyed. The ride back was bitter sweet, we sat together all the way again, talked and talked and talked endlessly, sang, laughed...we hugged goodbye, exchanged numbers and parted ways at my stop.

Well the gist of this story is that i have never had that feeling ever again, maybe it's by choice, or circumstance or whatever....but my point here is that it is so hard to fall in love in this day and age without inhibition, or walls. I would love to let go again because that is a feeling i cannot forget, it's like you're just the two of you against the world *sigh* Enough with the mushiness!

Not to leave you in suspense, Randy and i saw each other the next two or four or whatever years...never mind, it was good while it lasted!