Revealing moment....

I had a really long night yesterday, partly because I was heart broken, other part was insomnia as a result of the former. But as they say...However long the night, the dawn will break. -African Proverb.

I was supposed to be up earlier, opened my eyes at 9am but managed to finally drag my lazy ass out of bed 3hours later.  As usual, first thing i do is check twitter, then facebook play candy crush till i have no lives left then watch C.I as i wait for more lives. I managed to make tea for the guy planting flowers around the house, had a glass of water since i am not a breakfast type of person and sat back to watch telly flipping channels. At about 1pm, i prepare lunch for Joseph(gardener) and continue to just chill.
I hear the main gate open, peep and see no one and figure it might just be my mum,dad or bro. There's a knock on the door a few minutes later, peep but see no one, so I decide to open and there stands three little girls inquiring if my mum is home. Well, i tell them she's out at the salon and don't know when she'll be back and curiously ask what they wanted. They say they just came over to say hi, and that she's their aunt and tell me to tell her that they said hi when she gets back. And with that they turn to leave, I ask for their names and say goodbye.
I go back to my candy crush game, then there is another knock. They want water to drink, i usher them into the house and come back with three glasses of water. Now it's time for small talk, ayayai!
I ask how they got here and they say they walked and i ran out of things to say watch telly as we sit there awkwardly. An hour later, they are still there so I call my mum and tell her of her visitors. She asks if they've had anything to eat and am like no, there's no food in the house. Blah, blah, blah...minutes later i decide to go get fanta and cakes. Before i leave, they ask me to leave the tv on cartoon network which I do.
I rush to Nakumatt TRM, and because i didn't want to have to leave the house again, decide to buy stuff for supper as well. Rush back home and find my old man serve the girls and go start to prepare supper. Now the girls have gotten really comfortable a whole 360 from the shy girls i first met at the door. They are loud now, touching this and that, running all around the compound playing with everything outside. The remote is in their hands, they want to play computer and phone games, take pics and scroll through everything.
Amazingly, they are on facebook, they can play candy crush, google the shortest man on earth, even overheard them discuss the police woman in a tight skirt, scroll the internet and share their views on certain things, furniture is strewn all over and my mood is soured. Now they are spending the night, i pray i survive it. I really don't want kids...REALLY!
I am out...xoxo!

Mid-Twenties crisis

I swear I had it all figured out but ever since I entered the second quarter of my life, CONFUSION GALORE!

Symptoms of the mid-twenties crisis can include one or more of the following: signing up for interminable work experience, doing a Masters, quitting your job, dumping your long term other half, doing an art foundation degree, flying to Mexico, re-evaluating your sexual orientation, becoming an actor or model, squatting or moving back in with your parents. Those are just the symptoms exhibited by my immediate social circle.

Remember when life was simple? Now you feel stuck between your childhood and your adulthood. You constantly compare yourself to your friends who are your age…Everyone’s married already! Or your parents when THEY were your age, they had kids (you) already! They had a house!

You can’t stop thinking about how this isn’t exactly where you pictured you’d be at 25, or 30. Maybe you don’t have a significant other. Maybe you’re not exactly in your dream job. Sure, you were never a “white-picket fence” person, but you thought you’d at least have SOME of your shit together by now.
The young of your species used to be straightforward: they were gross, vomity, screamy, expensive balls of dribble. But now, your feelings towards babies have become seriously conflicted. And whilst the first thing you think of when you see babies now is still ‘NOT YET’, you’ve begun to feel a little stirring somewhere below your belly button when you see the offspring of friends and family gurgling away in their prams.
You’ve come to realise that actually, babies are just slightly less hairy, slightly more terrifying puppies. And you sort of want one…

Going out clubbing seems less and less appealing, you feel increasingly alienated and you no longer feel shame about spending a night in by yourself; in fact, you might even start to prefer it. And now you’re panicked that failing at one thing means you’ll continue failing and fuck up your life in some irretrievable way.

 Maybe you’re not quite ready to take ALL hookups off the table, but if you’re single, you might be feeling increasingly unfulfilled by dates or encounters that lead to nothing. If you’re in a relationship, you might be questioning if you really want to be with this person long-term — and maybe even debating whether it’s too late to find someone else.

One minute you’re embracing the desire you feel to grow up, settle down and get a stable job/partner/life and the next, you’re shouting at your mother down the phone: ‘I’m 28 years old! I don’t have to make these decisions for YEARS! I don’t need to settle down – in fact, I might go and live abroad for a while!’

Enjoy the Friday lovelies...xoxo!