Single me...

Woke up early today not because i wanted to but my mum was in my room at 7am, "hey, here is your valentine gift" she says. I am sleepy but when i hear those words i turn with my hands wide open hoping to clutch on to a box of chocolate. Haha, in her hand she has a mandazi...lol, is this a joke? I turn and mumble to her to place it somewhere and then i try to get back to sleep. I can't go back to sleep though...great! Thus i am up at 7am, make me a cup of coffee and down it with my 'valentine' present which i must say wasn't any ordinary mandazi, it was good actually so thanks mum. They say its the thought that counts?! Ahem...
I sit at my comp, check my facebook, twitter then stumble upon a blog-Nairobi Nights, very interesting read you should try. Anyhow, my post today is about me, single me to be precise and why i am still single. A question i have answered a thousand times before, well not here on my blog but when people are trying to get to know me. I'd be lying if i said half the people who ask me the question are not perplexed. I used to answer by just saying its by choice which is true but its getting old now.
And I'd also be lying if i said i knew exactly why i am still single...The other day, a very close friend of mine who tried to katia (i don't know what they are calling it nowadays but i hate the word tune, and i can't think of an appropriate english word) me called to say how much he liked me, and thought i had this wall he just couldn't break through. He asked if we could meet up and maybe help me decipher
'my situation'. This got me thinking, am i that hard to get to?
Well, i gotta admit that even when i am in so-called relationships, i still somewhat feel single and i don't know why. I haven't been single that long though, about 5months now.
Maybe its because the only relationship i consider in my head is one, and it was a while back. The rest i refer to as flings because most of the time i am lost.


-I kinda messed up THAT relationship i have just mentioned thus i live in fear of doing the same over again.
-And like everyone else i fear heartache, I'd rather have one foot in and the other out just to be safe.
-Sometimes when i think about it, i think i'm ready for the real thing now.
-Maybe i expect too much, i compare to the only true relationship i've had.
-I have a weakness of liking people too fast and i stop liking them in the same speed.
-I am too picky(subconsciously though)
-I don't trust easy thus i'm too guarded.
-I am simply sometimes really not interested.
-I am lazy, i love myself too much and me time always comes before us time.
-I have trouble committing even to the simplest of things like sticking to a diet and stuff like that.
-I don't really trust myself, i think i make a lousy girlfriend, i dunno.
Sometimes i let my pride override my decision making.
-I think relationships take too much time and work.
-I have gotten used to the life i live now.
-I hate change.
-I overthink things(like i'm doing just now)
All things considered its safe to say i'll die single...HAHA!

I don't really know which one of the above actually fit 'my situation' maybe all, and i am not complaining, in fact i enjoy it most times, 'my situation' that is. So until i find a concrete answer, i'll stick to my cliche answer of "I am single by choice" XO!