Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The bro code...


A set of rules meant to be a guideline to live by between Bro's. The rules began as unwritten rules to follow but haven't been followed properly and therefore they needed to be spelled out in bold print.
The most common we all know and have heard is the infamous bro's before hoes, no wonder it's number one on the list. I couldn't really publish all i just borrowed a few that caught my eye from Barney Stinson's bro code!
P.S A bro never divulges the existence of the bro code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason.

1. Bros before hoes. 'I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there'.

2. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

3. You must never own a cat.

4. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.

5. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend.

6. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

7. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time.

8. A bro should never carry a woman's handbag.

9. A bro should never say "it's to die for".

10. If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a "that sucks, man".

11. "A Bro never cries."

12. "A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro."

13. No sex with a bros Ex.

14. A Bro is always psyched. Always

15. Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor.

16. If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

17. A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.

18. A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wing man.

19. When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a disinterested "It was okay".

20. A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin. Exception: Unless he doesn't know the guy.

21. A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

22. A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros. Providing graphic detail unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked and there is no coming back from that.

23. If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back.

24. A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

25. When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

26. If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro's car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position.

27. A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

28. A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink.

29. A Bro never asks for directions when lost.

30. If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave and beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

31. A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wing man.

32. A Bro never wears socks with sandals.

33. If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome.

34. If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages.

35. A Bro doesn't sing along to music in a bar. Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke. Exception to exception: No chick songs.

36. A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
Acceptable age difference formula: Chick's age = (Guy's age divided by 2) + 7

37. A Bro shall not kill another Bro or that Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

38. Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.

39. A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club.

40. A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe.

41. A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he's banged. Corollary – A bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged.

42. When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actually got it.

43. If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.

44. A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

45. A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every not and again probably wouldn't kill him.

46. If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

47. A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection.

48. If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone.

49. A bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it.

50. If a bro gets a dog, it must be atleast as tall as his knee when full grown.

51. A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name.

52. A Bro never shares observations about another Bro's smoking-hot girlfriend.

53. Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.

54. If a chick enquires about another bros’ sexual history, a bro shall honor the Br-ode of silence and play dumb. Better to have women think that all men are stupid than to tell the truth.

55. There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.

Let me make one thing clear that this post in no way expresses my own views and is just a reproduction of some of the articles in the original book.

Goodnight..xoxo!

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