Kleptomania...

Wikipedia defines the word Kleptomania as an impulse control disorder characterized by a recurrent failure to resist stealing.
I am calling this post that because i don't know how else to refer to the woman am about to tell you about...thief? I don't know, maybe. I read a column in the papers about how women have become even more aggressive and are the ones brandishing guns while carjacking people.

Well today i went to see the doc, i was down with a cold last week and i self medicated in the house and it went away. Today though i woke up feeling sick again and thought it was time to go to hospital. I got there at around 1.30pm, you know Kenyans and their lunch break; the doc was out on lunch break was to be back at 2pm. There was an old-ish woman who was sitted on my extreme left holding her baby, followed by a young female about my age. I sat like 5inches away from the girl so there was enough space between us where i placed my bag.

A woman walked up to me, said hi and went to sit on my right but i told her it was okay if she sat to my left because she also had a baby and i was being nice. So i took my bag to make space for her and she sat. Then a young couple sat to my right and i was sandwiched. We sat there for a while, i was busy on my phone texting my boyfie throwing glances at the cute baby held by his mom on my left but a certain woman behind us caught my attention, she was laughing loudly and chatting away with her pal on a bench outside where we were sat.

Could she be any louder at a hospital? Minutes later she was right behind us now playing with the cute kid. The woman with the cute kid had placed her paper bag on the bench while i held my handbag so there was space where her paper bag sat. That obnoxiously loud woman strolled slowly pretending to read the posts on the hospital's wall and in less than a second, she had picked up the woman's paper bag handed it to her and sat down...Oh, the nerve on her?

I could only give her dagger eyes because my sore throat would not let me utter a word but i was thinking what her plan was to just come and jump the queue like that. Finally, it was time to get consultation cards in order to see the doc. One by one until it was cute kid's mom turn. She stood and left her paper bag on the bench. I hadn't noticed if wasn't for the woman who jumped the queue making futile attempts at dipping her hand inside the paper bag.

She mumbled something like i should go before her because she wasn't in the queue before. She was nervous, i saw her dip her hand into the woman's paper bag twice, she was darting her eyes here and there. She moved to face the left so i could see what she was doing opened her tattered handbag and made another futile attempt to take something from the paper bag. The woman holding her cute kid at the counter was oblivious, i looked at her and noticed she had no clue what was going on.

Then i said, 'That paper bag is her's right?'(pointing at the woman at the counter).
She nodded, her eyes turned red and was really fidgety now, she stood really fast went to the corner and pretended to be looking for something in her bag. It was my turn now, made sure i stood only after the paper bag was in the right hands then watched as the kleptomaniac walked out in a confused manner.

Looking back i wish i had called her out so that she does not do the same to someone else and maybe succeed, or i should have said, 'you do know God is watching' to scare her for life. I can't help but wonder how much she gets from what she does and does she go home happy that she has money or whatever it is she was looking for.
I know money is hard to come by but the easy way out is never the answer especially for a woman...shame,shame,shame!

Fashion DONT'S for men...

I rarely write about men's fashion, one, because i think men have it easy. Two, because i am a female and don't really know what to say on that topic. Even with much leeway that men get, there are just some lines that should not be crossed and here are some of my few observations:

1. Has to be pairing jeans and official shoes. I hate this look...I'm sure you've seen it.

Try this instead...


2. Those really ugly looking open shoes that you wear everywhere; to the beach, to a cocktail party, to a wedding....eish!












3. Then you make it worse by wearing socks inside(see above).








4.Then there is the short sleeved shirt with half cardigan. Generally, you look like a Midwestern accountant, a douchecanoe or a schoolboy if you wear a sweater vest at all. A sweater is supposed to keep you warm, it's best to pick one with long sleeves.

Unless you are at the golf course, only then are you excused.









5. Tucking your shirt in jeans. Unless you are 50+











6. Mixing patterns...












7. Sagging your pants, i cannot emphasize any further...









8. Hats/caps worn to the side or backwards.












9.Mixing too many colors: Too many colors draw attention -but not the kind of attention that gets you dates. Limit each of your outfits to just three colors or shades to keep things as simple as possible.



10. Beach shorts. As the name suggests, they are meant for the beach.



Parting shot: If you look in the mirror twice before you leave the house and you aren't sure if your combo looks good, it probably doesn't...so go change.
XOXO.

Filling you in...

Well, hello beautiful people...
Been a long while i know, my apologies! My last post was in May, June i got so caught up partying i got hardly any time to sit and pen anything down. Then came July and i was nursing the June hangover but now I'm BACK!
Uh, my sister's boyfie had been away for a while and when he came back we made a point to show him how to party. I found love (drum rolls please) haha, well...we met in March, too early to tell you the whole story, don't want to jinx it but i will soon...promise.
I fixed my commitment issues with everything, i am happy. I am expecting a guest writer tomorrow, so i'll hold my stories till after we've had what he has to say.
I'm out, keep warm. Xoxo...

Animal print...

A while back i could not stand animal print, used to associate it with some people and if you know me you know who! The other day i was nosing around my sister's closet and saw this leopard print, see-through blouse that i fell in love with...and the leopard print was suddenly awesome! Thus my post today on animal print, what i'd do for a pair of leopard print heels!











I so love the leopard print dress Beyonce is rocking, would be awesome for the beach.
Tomorrow is a holiday, whoop! Today is end month and I'm calling it Thirday! (thirsy thursday cum friday)
Enjoy...xoxo!

The bro code...

A set of rules meant to be a guideline to live by between Bro's. The rules began as unwritten rules to follow but haven't been followed properly and therefore they needed to be spelled out in bold print.
The most common we all know and have heard is the infamous bro's before hoes, no wonder it's number one on the list. I couldn't really publish all i just borrowed a few that caught my eye from Barney Stinson's bro code!
P.S A bro never divulges the existence of the bro code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason.

1. Bros before hoes. 'I cannot stress this enough. Always remember, girlfriends come and go, but your boys are always there'.

2. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

3. You must never own a cat.

4. If you go the bar with your buddies, you must buy a round of drinks at least once.

5. When out with the guys, never accept a call from your girlfriend.

6. Never share a bed with a guy, unless there's no way around it.

7. A bro should not sing and dance at the same time.

8. A bro should never carry a woman's handbag.

9. A bro should never say "it's to die for".

10. If a Bro suffers pain from a permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a "that sucks, man".

11. "A Bro never cries."

12. "A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro."

13. No sex with a bros Ex.

14. A Bro is always psyched. Always

15. Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor.

16. If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

17. A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.

18. A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wing man.

19. When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a disinterested "It was okay".

20. A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin. Exception: Unless he doesn't know the guy.

21. A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

22. A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros. Providing graphic detail unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked and there is no coming back from that.

23. If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back.

24. A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

25. When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

26. If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro's car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position.

27. A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

28. A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink.

29. A Bro never asks for directions when lost.

30. If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave and beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

31. A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wing man.

32. A Bro never wears socks with sandals.

33. If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome.

34. If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages.

35. A Bro doesn't sing along to music in a bar. Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke. Exception to exception: No chick songs.

36. A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
Acceptable age difference formula: Chick's age = (Guy's age divided by 2) + 7

37. A Bro shall not kill another Bro or that Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

38. Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.

39. A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club.

40. A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe.

41. A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he's banged. Corollary – A bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged.

42. When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actually got it.

43. If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.

44. A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

45. A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every not and again probably wouldn't kill him.

46. If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

47. A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection.

48. If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone.

49. A bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it.

50. If a bro gets a dog, it must be atleast as tall as his knee when full grown.

51. A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name.

52. A Bro never shares observations about another Bro's smoking-hot girlfriend.

53. Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.

54. If a chick enquires about another bros’ sexual history, a bro shall honor the Br-ode of silence and play dumb. Better to have women think that all men are stupid than to tell the truth.

55. There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.

Let me make one thing clear that this post in no way expresses my own views and is just a reproduction of some of the articles in the original book.

Goodnight..xoxo!

Liar....Liar!

It's a safe bet that every mom (and dad) has forewarned their daughters that a man will say anything to get them into bed. Well, it's often true....And unless you're looking for a one night stand, use a little discretion and a lot of common sense. Never take anything at surface value; especially from a horny man!
Time to put these liars pants on fire...

1. "I only have 24 hours to live!" (I don't know this guy!)Lamest line in the book.

2. "I don't know if I can ever trust another woman after my ex-girlfriend cheated on me." (Playing the sympathy card)

3. "I'm an up and coming rapper/singer." (Sure you are)Who cares?

4. "I'm hung like a horse!" (Almost never proves to be true; and then you just feel dumb for looking!)

5. "I love you" (If you've only known him a day, a week, or a month, and he's tried every other way to get you naked, don't trust this line!)

6. "You're the only one for me, baby." (Just as bad as "I love you", but with less desperation)

7. "I'm older now, and I've changed my ways." (Note to self: Leopards never change their spots. A dog is always a dog no matter how old it gets!)

8. "It’s not sex if it goes into your ass, mouth, or ear" 0_0 No comment!

9. "Just the tip, I promise" ROTFLMAO!!! What?!

10. "I’m not seeing anyone else… its only you babe, my one and only!"

TGIF, enjoy...x

African Print.

So feeling anything African right now, am I the only one?!
From skirts, dresses, blazers, pants, head-bands, shirts, shorts, scarfs to bow-ties! Anything and everything goes...














For the more adventurous ones, bikini's too...