Thursday, August 1, 2013

Pressure is on...

Top of the afternoon to you this chilly first day of August...It's been an easy July, can't wait for this year to end. Hey, you remember how when you were little and couldn't wait to grow up? Yeah, it kinda sucks doesn't it? Maybe not for you, but you gotta admit it's not what you expected is it? Yeah, you can drink, watch t.v till late, eat whatever you want and so on,but the pressure of being a grown up is out there.

I first experienced let's call it peer pressure when i was 15, i think i was in form two in high school. So on school holidays, i attended tuition at KTTC in Gigiri. Well, my school was huko in the bundus and here i was interacting with both boys and girls from various schools in Nairobi. On one break from class, this big boy from some school was having his cigarette break, we were just hanging around and he handed me one asking if i smoked. I do not know why i did not say no, but i took it from him and luckily i was saved by the bell and we had to go back to class. In the evening while we were waiting for the bus, he kept asking me to light it, i held him off saying i'd do it the next day. In the bus he made me smell his fingers(Don't ask) It was a pungent smell, one i couldn't identify and he told me it the smell of weed...Boys!!!

The gist of the story is, after i cleared high school, i had this curious, adventurous streak and one evening i went to the shops, bought me one stick of embassy light cigarette, went to my balcony, lit it and had my first puff ever of a cigarette. I can't really say if i liked it or not but when i joined campus i had this habit of smoking one or two dunhills whenever i was out drinking. I can't say i enjoy it, and i really don't know why i did it. I am happy to report though that it's a habit i managed to stop.

We all get caught up in pressure one way or another, that tattoo i got when i was 21. When my pals were so excited to be getting their first tattoos and we all jumped for the idea. That movie your pal says you have got to watch, you know it's not your kind of film but you still sit there to waste your precious two hours sitting through a bogus movie. That random night out, you're broke AF, but still go and use the little you had left, lose your phone and end up not even remembering anything from that night. That guy you shouldn't have dated but went for it anyway because everyone thought he was cute and you two looked good together.

That guy you should have given a chance to, but your girls didn't like him and thought he was a broke douche and you deserved better. That one last shot of vodka you know you can't keep down but with everyone shouting shot!shot!shot! you down it anyway, that baby your boyfriend wants so bad and promises to give you the world, be there for you, and support you and your baby...*sigh*, that friend who just got hitched and won't shut up about what a bliss marriage life is...Well the drinking...that i got myself into :P

The part i hate most though about growing up is dealing with the pain of losing loved ones, people you interacted with on a daily basis are no longer in your life, it hurts and no one prepares us for this kind of loss. It just hits and you realize that that is life and as much as it is unfair, it does go on.  People get married, get babies, others die...c'est la vie!

For those who are married, i wish you blessed unions. Those with babies, good luck with that...and for those who've left us, may your souls rest in peace.

 Keep warm...xoxo!





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